Monday, April 17, 2017

I WAS LEFT ON THE DOORSTEP -- by Guest Beth Steury

I have always known that I was adopted as an infant. Same with my three younger brothers. Before we could truly grasp what it meant to be “adopted”, we knew we had been adopted. Most days I didn’t think about it at all. It was just a part of who I am. An accepted part.

From a very early age—as long as I can remember really—I concluded that whoever gave birth to me couldn’t take care of me so she, and possibly the he as well, gave me to someone who could take care of me. And I was okay with that.

While I’d always been curious as to the details surrounding my birth and the
surrender for my adoption, when I discovered this past summer that I’d been left on a door step, having not been born in a hospital, my curiosity piqued to a level bordering on obsession. The who, what, how and why questions raced through my brain.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Adoption Professional says "Let it Go" by Guest Author Paula Freeman

My guest today is Adoption Professional Paula Freeman with excellent advice for all of us whose lives are touched by Adoption


(In Three Not-so-Easy Steps)
 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”
(I Peter 5:7)
 “How-to’s” are not my thing. I’m the one urging us to throw away the programs; pray and listen; trust our instincts; be gracious to ourselves and others; and run, as fast and as far as we can from the “shoulds” that seek to devour us. Why? Because there are no easy how-to-steps for our journey. But there is hope – and a God who cares and will never leave us.
Several years ago my family endured a season filled with drama and chaos; I lived in a war zone with my address. Maybe you do too. It’s scary but temporary. And we can fight back. Emotional healing is a choice; learning to let go helps us experience it. I offer the following lessons I’ve learned the hard way as food for thought on your journey.

RESIST COMPARING: Adoptive parenthood is different than biological parenthood. Acknowledging this truth allows us to embrace the layered richness of adoption – grief, loss, redemption and grace. We’re all dealing with heavy issues, regardless of how we dress them up and present them to the public. But we can choose grace and to accept our children and ourselves where we are, without comparison to others or the latest parenting trends.
REFUSE TO COMPETE:  Don’t even try - let it go; we’ll never win this one because we’re our own worst critic. We’re on the same team, each of us striving to raise a Godly heritage. It’s okay to take different routes. Bow out of the competition, take a deep breath, and allow God to lead you on this leg of the journey. Our goal is to help our children develop at their pace. Love and nurture them. Learn to quiet your soul, regardless of the pace at which others choose to live. 
RELINQUISH CONTROL:  Ouch! I like control. I’m the ultra-nerd who follows rules and plays nicely in the sand box. Just like water can’t help but flow to the lowest place to puddle, I’m hard wired to seek order and organization. But clinging to control tied me up in knots and fed a critical spirit. Especially when I tried to control the things I couldn’t (which is just about everything).
…like the emotionally wrenching betrayal, in-the-pits challenge God recently allowed me to endure. Although the process strengthened my faith in spite of myself, it didn’t happen overnight. And it’s still not easy. But gradually, by God’s grace, I began to strip away the tentacles of fear that gripped my heart and surrendered; “not my will, but yours be done”. I had to let it go for my emotional and spiritual well-being.
We cannot change the compromised beginnings our children suffered, the wounds we endured, or the challenges we face. But we can refuse to compare, compete or control. We can let it go.


Paula Freeman, MSW, is founder and former executive director of Hope’s Promise, a Colorado adoption agency and orphan care ministry. As author and speaker she helps moms thrive in all stages at all ages. Widowed, with seven grown children, she calls Colorado home.  Visit her at

Friday, April 07, 2017

I Will Walk Into My Doctor's Office Pregnant One Day--By Guest Author Carol Graham

My guest today has returned a second time. Welcome Carol Graham.

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mother.  I was born with health issues that were often debilitating and sometimes caused me to wonder if my life would be cut short by disease.

God had promised my husband and I that we would have a family.  No matter how sick I became or how great the emotional struggle was, I knew God would fulfill His promise.  It was 14 years of applying faith to my pain but I consistently reminded God of the Word he spoke to my heart. 

Then I got the phone call from a gynecologist's office informing me he had a diagnosis. There is one word in any language that is difficult to hear. That word is -- cancer. 

“Carol, basically you have two choices and I think it is obvious which one you will choose!” I assumed he meant two types of treatment. He continued, “Your choices are hysterectomy or death.” He paused for impact. “You are a very sick young woman.”

Strength and faith welled up inside of me and I said “No!  I do not accept those choices. There has to be another way! I will find that alternative.”

I had challenged his intelligence. He rose up from behind his desk, leaned towards me and pointed his finger in my face. He was so angry he was shooting spit when he said, “Well then, lady, go home, suffer and…….die!”

I stood up, spun on my heel and started out of the room. Then I paused, turned, and said in a loud staccato voice, enunciating each syllable clearly. “I... will.... walk.... in here.... pregnant.... one day.” I couldn’t believe the words that came out of nowhere. But in my heart, I knew I was going to succeed. Nothing was going to stop me. I almost screamed out loud “ENOUGH, not this time.” Hysterectomy – I don’t think so. Death? Not my time yet.

About three weeks later, I was introduced to natural food supplements.  I changed my diet and started my new food regime. In less than a week I was feeling better.  I researched and took every course on nutrition I could find.  I was determined to improve my health.

It was the middle of March, 14 years later, when I made an appointment with the same doctor.

“Hello, Carol. It has been a while since I have seen you. Why did you decide to come now?”

“I haven't had a physical for a long time and figured I should.” He examined me, left the room and said he would return shortly when he got the lab results from my urine sample. It was a full half hour when the doctor walked back into the examining room.

“Carol, I am very sorry to inform you, but you are very pregnant.” His head was down as if he were ashamed.

I stood up. “Yes, doctor, you... are... very... sorry... to.... inform... me. You obviously remember the words you spoke to me the last time I was here.”

I was not prepared in any way for the next words that came out of his mouth. Trying to gain his composure and his rightful position, he stood up and whispered a shout, “Who is the father?” He threw the words at me, the same way he had all those years ago.

He must have remembered, or read it in my file, that my husband, Paul, was also sterile. However, Paul had received a report some months earlier of healthy sperm. I wanted to get out of that awful room which reeked of pharmaceuticals. He left and I never saw him again.

I spent six months in the hospital with five major complications to this pregnancy.  Weekly, the doctors would give me negative reports.  The doctors warned me that if this baby survived, he/she would never be normal.  He/she would probably be born with Cystic Fibrosis and weigh under two pounds, among other complexities.

Six weeks before my C-section was scheduled I woke up at 4:45 in the morning with intense pain.  “Dear God, help me now.  Save my baby.”

Inside of me, a battle was raging.  “What if the baby does not live?  What if the baby is not normal?”  I had to constantly choose not to believe the lies and stay focused on the truth of God’s promises.  He would never leave me.  He would honor His word spoken to my heart.

It was only a matter of minutes when the doctor announced, “You got what you wanted.  V is for Victory.”  I was not sure what he meant by that.  He immediately held up my daughter for me to see her and I began to sob.
“See the V on her forehead?” The nurse was holding her close to my face.  “That is for victory.  She is perfect.  A perfect 10 on the Apgar score and she weighs six pounds, six ounces which is amazing for a baby born six weeks early.”

My baby girl defied all the laws of negativity and is now the proud mom of two children.

As a result of that diagnosis of cancer over 40 years ago, I became a Certified Health Coach and Symptomologist.  I have helped hundreds of women realize optimum health.  The community has labeled me Dr. Fertility as I have had the unique privilege of giving hope to women who had lost all hope of ever having a child. 

It all began with a determination to believe the good report of the Word of God and never letting go, no matter what happened.

PURCHASE LINK FOR Battered Hope on Amazon:

Book Trailer for Battered Hope 


Carol Graham is an award-winning author of "Battered Hope," talk show host for her bi-weekly show “Never Ever Give Up Hope,” international keynote speaker, jewelry store owner and a certified health coach.  Carol has five grandchildren and has rescued over 30 dogs.  Her goal is to share hope and encouragement.