My Guest Author today, Patricia Ann Barbe, is doing a Giveaway of one paperback version and one Ebook version of her book Mourning the Living. Leave a blog comment below, and spell out your email address, so I can contact you if you win one of these two books.
TO MOURN THE LIVING by Patricia Ann Barbe
But she
wasn't there.
“No,” they had said. ”She no longer works here”.
Tears
covered my face. I had no clue where she
was and no way to find her.
I had
not seen my Granddaughter Kaylee since she was four-years old, the end of
October - fourteen years ago. She had clung to me, arms and legs wrapped
tightly around me, screaming, “No, Grammie, I don’t want to go” I had carried
her to the car, kissing her beautiful face, promising her I would see her soon.
She was ripped from my arms. I never saw her again.
Kaylee’s
mother and family were heavily involved in witchcraft. Her family wanted me out
of Kaylee’s life. Their influence made Kaylee’s mother believe we were evil and
trying to take Kaylee from her. The
result was a betrayal of such magnitude that it totally devastated our entire
family.
Mid-November
police knocked on our door, handcuffed me and charged me with sexually abusing
my four-year-old granddaughter, Kaylee. I was put into the back of the patrol car, whisked
off to jail where I was photo’d, finger printed and put into a cell. The pain of what was happening as this
nightmare unfolded was unbearable. Surely a mistake had been made; how could
something like this happen to someone like me?
I was a
sixty-year-old Grandmother whose main goal in life was family. Everything I had
ever believed in and stood for was pulled as quickly as a rug from under me. I had been betrayed not only by someone I had
loved deeply and trusted, but-by the entire world as I knew it and . . . . by
God. I didn’t understand how He could let such a thing happen. We were good
people. We went to church when we could, brought our kids up in church, took
them to Sunday school. I prayed when I needed to.
If
someone had asked me if I were a Christian, I would have said of course. Did I
have a relationship with Jesus Christ? I didn't even know what that was. Read
the Bible? I didn’t own one. But, even so, how could God allow such injustice
to occur, to good people?
After
being released on bail, a friend came to my home and put a Bible into my hands,
I had no clue where to even start reading it, but I knew it was what I needed.
The
next years were the most devastating years of my life. I pulled away from
everything and everyone. Family, friends… even my husband. I pulled tightly
into myself. My grief was so deep there
was no room for anything else; nothing but intense hatred and revenge for what
had happened to me and a fear like I had never known. In spite of these feelings,
I knew I needed God. I felt that if I found him, he would make right what had
happened; he would validate my hate and my anger, restore what I had lost
It
would take eight years of brokenness, tears and further devastation before I
learned to allow Jesus to work in me. The Bible talked about love and forgiveness.
How could I forgive? Anger, hatred, revenge, unforgiveness; these were what was
keeping me alive.
Little
did I know how powerful this “Word” was or how it would drastically change my
life. It took a long time, but, this
precious book has become the most prized possession I have. I cannot even begin
to imagine a life without it, nor would I even want to. He does not promise to
give us a life without trial, quite the opposite. But he does promise to give us the love,
strength, endurance and patience to get through those trials. All we have to do is ask and then trust he
will do as he says.
Nothing
has ever been settled or changed from the incidents that occurred back then. When
asked if I would change things if I could bring back all that I had lost, I did
not even have to think about my answer.
“NO, not
if it meant giving up my faith, not having Jesus Christ in my life.“ I would give my life to change it, but not the
faith that has risen out of it.
Patricia
Ann Barbe, lives in the Upper Midwest with her husband of 53 years. Their home
overlooks a large wetland and is surrounded by nature and God’s beauty. She
loves the seasons, especially gardening in the summer digging in the dirt to
make it ready for planting, moving and transplanting.
Denielle
and Gramma reunited after four and a half months
From To Mourn the Living reference page 106
Top
picture reference page 30 To Mourn the Living – Kaylee and Denielle the last
time they were together.
Connect
with Patricia Ann Barbe
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