Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Steve's Journal--Chapter 8

My time here at the recovery house is growing short. Hard to believe it’s gone so fast. When I came in here, I didn’t really want to stay—sixty days may as well have been sixty years. I didn’t know what to expect or if it would work. I did know that I had to give it an honest effort, and I have.

I have had a great opportunity to examine myself and my life, who and what I am, and who and where I want to be. I’ve been given the tools and resources to change my life and future. It’s up to me now to make the choice for change and start living a happy, healthy, productive life without shame or guilt, filled with love and hope.

The house and the guys have really grown into home for me. I feel comfortable and safe here, but I know it’s only a stepping stone to the rest of my life. It’s time to move on to the next stage.

Everyday more and more of the men I came in here with are reaching the end of their stays. It’s sad to see them leave. It will be interesting to see how their journeys turn out. How many of us will be here to celebrate next year?

Some are going to second stage housings. It’s like a half-way house run by the recovery program. It’s had a greater success rate than guys just going home to their old lives, homes and families. I’m going to my sister’s house.

My life is completely new, my sister and brother-in-law are taking me in. I have no home of my own anymore. I strangely don’t have any regret about not going home to my own house, and old life. That’s the past. I’m starting off fresh and new.

It’s a bit awkward now in my sister’s place. They love me, want to support me and say they want me around. I’m no burden, but I know it can’t be easy for them. I appreciate their opening their home and lives to me. I want to make them proud as well as be respectful, helpful, loving and kind.

It’s going to be an adjustment for all of us. For now, it’s a great comfort to know I am surrounded by love and people that want to see me succeed and start living a happy life.

Here in my sister’s place, I have a home AA group, friends in the program, a sponsor.  I’m going to church every Sunday, and have joined a Bible study group to enrich the spiritual side of my program. I have all the tools I need for success now. It’s up to me to do the work, persevere and become a better me each day. If I want it and work hard for it, I will succeed and reach my goals and dreams. There is hope now, and I’m moving towards a bright future. 

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