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| My brother Steve 8 months sober |
My day
begins at 6:30 a.m. Everyone must get
up. No sleeping in. We all have chores to do. There are no official cooks here
at the recovery house, or cleaning staff, so we all work together to run the
house on a daily basis. We make our bed, clean our rooms and keep them neat and
tidy. All part of teaching us to be respectful, and responsible adults.
Something none of us has been living for a long time.
All tasks
are monitored and failure or incompetence will be dealt with. If you won’t follow
simple rules, then you are not ready for recovery.
Our group
got lucky. One of the guys is a professional cook in the navy, so the food is
pretty good.
Good food
is one of the keystones to recover. Before, as we lived in addiction, eating
and looking after ourself became less and less important. We started to fade away.
As for myself, before I came to Recovery House, I had entered the hospital at
180 lbs, considerably under weight for my age and height of 6’2”.
Eating
good is all part of the three-pronged plan of recover. Heal the mind, body, and
spirit.
After we
get up, get ready, do our chores, eat breakfast, it’s time to start the day.
The first thing the new guy must do, is write about his last ninety days,
leaving nothing out—acts, deeds, thoughts, emotions and finally results.
When
completed, you must share this with two other guys and they will share their last
ninety days with you. It’s a great way to connect with the other men and to see
that you are no different. We all suffered, but we all are looking for change.
Next you
write a letter to yourself, describing who you are, what happened, why you are
here, what you hope to gain from this experience, and where you see yourself in
a year. This letter is handed in to the staff and will be returned to you if
you reach one year of sobriety. The staff makes a point of showing you the
stacks of unclaimed letters in an effort to demonstrate the realities of the
disease.
Not many
will recover. Many will relapse, and many will die.
So with
those tasks completed, I’m ready to start my recovery program.
At 8:00
a.m. we watch a video about addiction, usually about half an hour, then we have
an hour to get to work on our step work, do our journaling, or go for a walk
which is encouraged again to repair our bodies.
The
program is abstinence based on the AA twelve steps of recovery. Lots of work, so
you have to approach it openly, honestly, complete with an open mind. If you do
not, you’re just wasting your time, only hurting and cheating yourself.
At
nine-thirty, the first half of group starts. Twenty guys in a room with a group
leader discussing addiction, what it is, how it’s affected us, our lives, and
what we can do to live with it in a far better manner than we were.
There is
no cure, only a daily reprieve. Addiction is only part of our problem. It masks
our deeper issues. One can take alcohol or drugs out of our lives, yet still be
miserable, discontent and unhappy. We will address all this in order to change
ourselves.
Ten-thirty,
we get a half hour break then at 11 we start the second half of group.
Group is
a powerful thing. Twenty different men, but all the same, big, tough, burly men
reduced to tears. But there is a great sense of trust and security here. We
face our demons together. You grow close with love and support, and receive a
great feeling of belonging.
Twelve
noon is lunch. More great food!!!Then the afternoon is ours to use for step
work, chores, interaction, going for walk or to the gym. Each step assigned is
given about 4 or 5 days to complete, then it is reviewed with a counsellor.
It doesn’t
take long to figure out who is serious or not. Your work will tell the story.
Those who don’t take it seriously are quickly found out and weeded out. The
pack mentality will not tolerate weakness in commitment as it jeopardizes all
our sobriety.
Be here to recover and change . . . or get out.
Five p.m.
dinner time. Doesn’t take long to start putting on weight and feeling healthy.
After dinner, half of us go to a local AA meeting or NA meeting while the other
half does their step work. Tomorrow evening we will switch.
It may
seem like our day is largely devoted to step work and it is. That’s what’s
going to fix us. That’s why we’re here, but interaction participation and
duties to the house, and to the other guys is also encouraged.
It’s a ‘we’
program, not an ‘I’ program. We need the strength of the group. Together we
can. I can’t do it alone. We have all tired that, and it doesn’t work.
So, our
day winds down. We hang out, joke, laugh. It feels so good to really laugh again.
Most of us haven’t laughed in years. It feels comfortable and safe here. We must be in our rooms and quiet by
midnight. Time to get some sleep and start all over again tomorrow.
One day
down. Fifty-nine to go.
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