Thursday, July 20, 2006
I know I'm supposed to pray and leave my worries about my children to my Heavenly Father. After all, according to His word, He loves them even more than I do. But do I really believe that?
Lately I've been struggling with whether or not I trust God for good things, or should I just continue to expect those trials in life that shape one's character, and the character of one's children. Because no doubt about it, life can be hard, and we know that God's love can sometimes come wrapped in 'difficult' paper.
I was praying for my daughter last week, feeling pretty desperate that maybe God wasn't hearing my prayers for her. I was praying she'd find the same kind of joy in life as I have found.
As I cleaned our den I found a box left unpacked from when we moved into this house three years ago. I couldn't resist it, and set aside the dusting, switched off the vacuum cleaner, to go through old photographs, old degree dipolomas, and came across a faded blue airmail letter that I'd recieved over 26 years ago. It was from my grandmother upon my engagement.
In it she wrote how thankful she was to the Lord that I had found a good partner in life, that her prayers for me were answered, that I was living the joyful things that God had planned for me.
Nanny's been gone now for 22 years. How I wish she were around at times to talk about the worries I have over my kids. But the Lord allowed her voice to speak to me again over the span of time in the form of that old letter. But behind my grandmother's writing was the Lord's voice.
It was He who helped me find that old letter on that very day to remind me that He does care about the things in life we desire. I am reminded that He doesn't have just all the hard character building stuff for my life or for my kids, that there are the fireworks of joy for us too.
I have to trust, really trust Him, and to keep my eyes peeled for what He has around the corner for my children . . . just out of sight.